The Doomed Legion

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Dwarf Fortress

Doomed Legion Quotes

(Andrew) I want you to take things from me, and whatever you take I want you to not give back.
(Joel) Andrew, a dumpster will do that for you.

(Matt) The mystic elevator is my only chance.

(Joel) Get into the right lane of leftyness!

(Joel) Matt, you get to do it.
(Matt) Do what?
(Joel) You get to cut the cake.
(Matt) Oh, I thought you meant kill everybody.

(Andrew) I had an O.S. wipe since we last did this.
(Craig) Is that how you measure time?

(Joel) This game would be easier with bureaucrats and advisors actually helping you with your turn.
(Craig) Yes!
(Joel) And hats!
(Matt) And epaulettes!
(Joel) Yes! With symbols and crap!

(Matt) The ladies will be all over you; they love a man with a clean apartment.

(Matt) Before today, I didn't even know it existed, now it's all I ever wanted!

(Joel) Oh, but we can afford Natty Light!
(Nina) I don't want to afford Natty Light.

(Nina) Also, do you have a license to carry that thing? Or do you need one?
(Joel) License? License to kill!

(Joel) There are... what do you call those words? ...that are on cards?
(Andrew) Keywords.

(Joel) I burn, rape, and pillage all that I see.
(Andrew) I fall back... I just wanted to gain the honor from that.
(Joel) That was honorable!?

(Andrew) Schist thats some Gneiss Cleavage!

(Andrew) What's that for?
(Joel) It's called a vacuum cleaner, Andrew.

(Matt) If a snake is called a Death Adder there are no more questions.

(Joel) Andy, we're in your house.
(Andy) I'm all too aware, Joel... Where did all the food go?

(Joel) Why is there a tarantula in your house?
(Andrew) I don't know, it came out of my blanket I think.

(Matt) This would be a great game for someone who likes shuffling.
(Andrew) I like shuffling.
(Matt) Wow, I thought I would have a tough time finding someone who likes shuffling but apparently he's right here.

(Joel) Oh, I'm looking for a 7 on a D6.

(Matt) Listen Andrew, don't cause an international incident for me, I can cause my own international incidents.

(Matt) That's a bizzare way of solving the problem, much in keeping with Andrew's way of doing things.

(Erin) Are you ready?
(Joel) I wish I had a gold mine in Dwarf Fortress.
(Erin) Ok, we're ready.

(Erin) Are you becoming a communist?
(Joel) No, I'm just looking for a way to get out of work and paying rent... so, yes.

(Erin) I don't recommend using that bowl for food ever, because I use that for things you don't even know about.

(Joel) I should probably take my pants off.
(Erin) Oh, I forgot we were doing that.
(Joel) Well, you promised.

(Joel) Remember when we mailed Crake that keg for his birthday?
(Erin) You mean when we mailed Craig that cake for his birthday?

(Joel) What? I'm talking to Craig about beating up a guy we have no beef with.

(Joel) Andrew, are you going to take the first turn, or arrange your dice by size and color?
(Andrew) I'm not arranging them by size.

(Andrew) Woah, I just had a thought. What if we edited the raw files in Dwarf Fortress to create... Mouse Fortress.
(Joel) ...Why?
(Joel) Oh right, you're reading Mouse Guard. Everything mouse is awesome to you right now.

(Matt) I need my planes and my pants.

(Matt) You just rolled a pente stone.

(Craig) Where is everyone going? It's Saturday night.

(Andrew) Joel, you dread never finishing the models that you have, I dread never having enough models to finish.

(Joel) Remember the wargamer's rule: a die rolled off the table is scarcely a die rolled at all.

(Joel) The Battle of Kursk was just asking to be happened.

(Nina) Matt, those aren't game pieces, those are earplugs.

(Andy) But, but...
(Nina) You're only allowed one butt, and it's yours.

(Matt) It takes a special type of person to refer to it as melted ice.

(Andrew) Oh, people are coming by.
(Nina) Does that mean you want us to stop talking about pubic hair monologues?

(Craig) It's Ok.
(Joel) How is it Ok? You just died!

(Craig) What are you going to do?
(Joel) Your mom tomorrow night.

(Joel) The effect is cumulative if you receive multiple penetrations.

(Andrew) I'm going to use all seven of these dice, plus all of these... to invoke a miscast!

(Andrew) Oh crap, I need to make sure that your lord doesn't get into combat with... my army.

(Joel) Am I playing speed pool?
(Craig) No, you're just playing bad pool fast.

(Joel) Andrew, it's surprisingly unlike you to make a serious reference to something as normal as a TV station.

(Craig) Do you have anything here that isn't Beck?

(Andy) Man, if this was my city in... uh...
(Joel) Sim City Societies?
(Magda) Civilization?
(Craig) Dwarf Fortress?
(Andy) Animal Crossing! Every constellation would be a penis.

(Andy) There are bugs copulating in Craig's hair, he will never live this down.

(Magda) Oh, Nina's Dave and Buster's bag was dragged into the lake.
(Joel) Is it Dave and Busted?

(Joel) Why are all my pants dirty?
(Andrew) Dew.
(Joel) Do?
(Andrew) Dew.
(Joel) Do the Dew?
(Andrew) No, the literal mountain dew.

(Joel) All our lunches for the trip are planned in this column. We got sandwiches, then mac and cheese, then chilaquiles, followed by hotdogs, and finally uh, peppermint schnapps.

(Joel) It's like I won a scavenger hunt that nobody knew I was doing.

(Andy) I'm gonna bring it home like a history final.

(Matt) What do you mean "nerd"? Elf Quest is awesome!

(Craig) The thing you have to understand about the Doomed Legion is we have a very loose relationship with time.

(Andrew) Brawl was actually the first game I got without knowing everything about it.

(Andrew) I should have immediately down... upgraded Windows Vista to XP.

(Andy) Tribes Vengeance, if you need to install it the CDs are... gone.

(Andy) Newcastle with a grape juice chaser?

(Joel) Having problems is what Dwarf Fortresses do.

(Andrew) Andy! How can you dare call it 2011{two thousand eleven}. It's 2011{twenty eleven}, because it's the future!

(Joel) Was that a cloud you just launched off?
(Andy) No, it was a seagull.

(Andrew) You have to work tomorrow? But tomorrow's Monday!

(Joel) Excuse me, I'm going to go un-food.

(Andrew) I wanted to sit next to you because I wasn't talking enough to the group.
(Joel) Why's that?
(Andrew) I can't relate to the subject matter at hand.
(Joel) What was the subject matter?
(Andrew) Life skills.

(Joel) Your average beach sand is actually only 30% sand. The rest is a melange of urine, feces, animal feces, etcetera.{yes, from King of the Hill}
(Andy) Is that why it's so wet?

(Joel) Joel has cancelled kegels, item not found.

(Andrew) I just owned myself in the face with a razor. I was trying to brush my teeth and shave at the same time.

(Joel) Put that down as my epitaph... "It was badass."

(Joel) Craig! There's that guy! We went to his kegger last night! ...What was his name again?

(Joel) I'm bothered by how these hippie naturalist types say coyotes{kai-yohts} instead of coyotes{kai-yoh-tees}.
(Andrew) That's because hippies don't believe in English.

(Kendall) What are you doing? It looks like you are coding in Java or something.
(Andrew) I'm using Linux!